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Carlinisms |
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- You will never
find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe
daylight-savings time.
- You should
never say anything to a woman that even remotely
suggests you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby
emerging from her at that moment.
- The most powerful
force in the universe is gossip.
- The one thing
that unites all human beings, regardless of age,
gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep
down
inside we ALL believe that we are above-average drivers.
- There comes
a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal
about your birthday. That time is age 11.
- There is a
very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
- People who
want to share their religious views with you almost
never want you to share yours with them.
- If you had
to identify, in one word, the reason why the human
race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that
word would be "meetings."
- The main accomplishment
of almost all organized protests is to
annoy people who are not in them.
- If there really
is a God who created the entire universe with
all of its glories, and He decides to deliver a message to humanity,
He WILL
NOT use, as His messenger, a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle.
- You should
not confuse your career with your life.
- A person who
is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a
nice person.
- No matter what
happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.
- When trouble
arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives
a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual
is crazy.
- Your friends
love you anyway.
- Nobody cares
if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
Submitted
by Rick Stone
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